Thursday, September 17, 2009

The bad guy is named Darken?!

"Love Monkey" really has it in for The Sword of Truth by Terry Goodkind. Read on for a "delicately" put description of what the author must have left out!

4+ stars? really? I mean... REALLY?!
By: Love Monkey #9 "lmno9"

Wow...terribly bad. Where to start? I'll start with the stupid names. Darken Rahl? The bad guy is named Darken?! His father is Panis Rahl? One letter away from... oh well. How about the Wizard's name? Some three Z type name like : Zander Zoo Zlander or something, whatever.

Apparently there is a lot of soup eating going on in this world. Its everywhere, and the characters sometimes go on about how different the soup is compared to their homeland and how they will have to exchange recipes when all this Fantasy business is over with. I kid you not.

What exactly did the editor cut out of this huge 800+ manuscript? Maybe it was over 900 or a thousand pages when the editor decided to cut all the exposition of the main characters taking dumps in the woods delicately and meticulously described. Maybe something like: "Cypher heard the turds clatter softly to the ground. A satisfying sound. A sound that signaled to Richard that he would not have to turn around and look at his work as they would be sitting right there in the soft grass where he heard them fall." 
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